Movie - "The Guard"

Brendan Gleeson, Irish Sheriff, on left,
and DonCheadle, FBI on right

This was billed as a dark comedy.  It was dark all right, but as far as being comedic – well, that required a bit of viewer participation.  The movie was seriously hurt by not having a story to tell. There was no plot, no flow, no character development or growth,  It was simply a platform for the actors to portray a limited amount of acting skill.  

The FBI was there, in name only, portrayed as the F-ing Bumbling Idiots.  And the reason I used the “F-word” there is because it was used in the movie 1,643.5 times.  (Anybody get a different count?)  And the one-half time was when one of the f-ers got shot while trying to get the word out of his own mouth.  

There was love, kind of.  But it was a strange love.  All three times.  And there was a lot death in the movie, but nobody important. There was even an angel in there, with his dog and a bicycle and a bit of mystery around all that.  There was a lot of drinking, even double-drinking.  BUT not much smoking of cigarettes.

It was filmed in Galway, Ireland.  That’s what somebody said, although we didn’t see it in the credits.  Didn’t really matter because probably less than 120 seconds of landscape was shown. 

Best thing about the movie was its closing credits. 

Worst thing about the movie was that it didn’t end